I can tell I’m growing up.  I’ve started thinking about things like decorating. I currently rent a flat with Mr. Sarah@Cult Labs and we’ve decided to spruce the place up by giving it a lick of paint and putting up some film posters in frames. There’s been a bit of bickering over what to put up, however. He wants Pretty Woman and Steel Magnolias while I want Satan’s Baby Doll and Caligula.* But all bickering ceased when we spied the rather fab Hal Manciano posters designed by pedromonkey (who, incidentally has these up on his own blog too) to accompany Sam@Cult Labs‘s brilliant “reviews” of the fake filmmaker. This particular one for Up! Down! In! Out! is especially awesome and, if I could, I would have it front and centre in the living room.

There will be more about Hal Manciano later in the newsletter. Also coming up I’ve got all the fun and games from the 12 premiere, alternative ways you can keep up with Cult Labs and all my usual bits and bobs.

Now, where did I put that paintbrush…?

Sarah@Cult Labs.

*DISCLAIMER: Mr. Sarah@Cult Labs in no way likes Pretty Woman or Steel Magnolias. I just said that because I’m mean.

NEW RELEASES AND THE 12 PREMIERE

This week sees the slightly delayed release of Arrow Video’s Martin. I’ve had a chance to check this out and I can tell you it looks superb. If you’ve got your hands on it already and want to share your thoughts, head on over to the official thread!

Also out this week is the hotly anticipated 12. Last Thursday saw the charity premiere at The Odeon Printworks in Manchester. It was attended by director, Chee Keong Cheung and star, Mark Strange, alongside cast members from the film. The premiere was also attended by stars of Hollyoaks, a kung-fu performing David Beckham lookalike, and UFC stars, Michael Bispeng and Ross Pearson who both gave 12 a big thumbs up.

12 follows the brutal story of twelve fighters who are brought together to compete in an illegal underground tournament for the prize of £500,000 should they survive. Each fighter has their own reasons for competing and each give everything they have to take the prize… but there can be only one winner! If you’ve had a chance to see 12, why not let us know your thoughts on the official thread?

GET INVOLVED WITH CULT LABS!

There are more ways to get involved with Cult Labs than just the forums, you know. Check out my top four alternative ways you can connect with us and share us with your friends! They’re especially useful if you want to check out Cult Labs from your phone!

1. Facebook – Love it or hate it, Facebook is here to stay. Cult Labs has a dedicated Facebook page that makes it super-easy to access Cult Labs news and events with your friends.
2. Twitter – Personally, I’m into Twitter and think micro-blogging is the way forward. Cult Labs regularly tweets updates and links that you can read, reply to and re-tweet to your own followers.
3. YouTube – Cult Labs also has a dedicated YouTube channel from which you can access trailers, video blogs and more. You can also comment on these and, again, share them with friends!
4. MySpace – Facebook stole its thunder a bit, but MySpace is still alive and kicking. This is where Sam posts a lot of his Cult Labs blogs.

The forums will always be our first love but why not check out some of these other services for Cult Labs-on-the-go?

HAL “FATS” MANCIANO

For a few days now, Sam has been keeping us all entertained with his blog. On it he’s been posting fake reviews of fake films by fake exploitation filmmaker, Hal “Fats” Manciano. I’m going to publish my personal favourite review here for F**K: A Musical but there are many more on the blog so head on over and see which one you prefer!

F**K: A Musical (1971)

At the height of Porno-Chic, when uptown couples got down with the Grindhouse crowd and watching full strength Hardcore sex in a public cinema became briefly fashionable, Hal Manciano produced what some critics call his best work, the XXX rated “Song ‘n’ Dance Sextacular” F**K: A Musical.

Taking the blueprint from his previous counterculture music picture Up! Down! In! Out!, the director created a full strength Porno-Epic with songs so catchy there were calls to nominate the film for an Oscar. Such requests were quickly quashed by the awards voters however, after a private screening for guild members revealed the vast amounts of Troilism, Frottage, Water Sports, Scissoring and Teabagging contained in the movies 74 minutes of screen time.

F**K was Hal’s most lavish, expensive production and, at the time, the most costly adult picture ever made (although it was eventually surpassed by the 1980 production Kramer Vs Kramer Vs John Holmes). The last thing the filmmaker needed was a ban but that’s what he got, leading to massive losses at the box office as he lost obscenity case after obscenity case.

Luckily for the wayward producer, he signed a deal with the skin magazine Lube who agreed to screen the picture through it’s network of Adult sin palaces. Soon, the movie was doing great guns throughout the states where it ran for 17 years in San Francisco.

F**K stars Broadway leading man and Numerology student Clasp Hendricks (Boss Lady 2/Crisp Sheets, Bad Habits/The Templer Knights of Kentucky) as Adult Entertainer Rick Hammer, a stud with a heart of gold. Rick is trying to make his way in the porno business while avoiding the various potholes along the way.

Clara Van Halen (Naked Finishing School/Boat Ride to Bedlum/Grip of the Yeti Boy) is Pixie Goodmouth, a sassy lifer who earn a living on her back and makes no apologies for it. Together, they take on the world of adult entertainment, bringing down the sharks, making the money and delivering simultaneous orgasms on cue.

Banned outright in the UK to this day, F**K is a heady product of it’s time, from the wood panelled, pot plant heavy interiors to the polyester jumpsuits and wayward pubic topiary of the women. With no discernable plot after the initial set up, the film drifts in a woozy, sweaty manner between song ‘n’ dance numbers and fevered, hammer and tongs sex scenes, leaving the viewer numbed into submission.

Released in a number of different versions over the years, including a pointless Soft edit and a fascinating Japanese Dub in which all the songs were re-recorded for the Land of the Rising Sun, getting to see an uncut version is one the holy grails of cult movie collecting. It’s worth seeking out though, if only to see the magical erotic Busby Berkeley tribute “I Want Some Head”.

Manciano himself had a ball on set and this is one of the few films he made were no one was killed during production (although seasoned porn industry ‘Stunt-Cock’ Brick Docker needed penile realignment surgery after the film wrapped). The director was always happiest surrounded by the naked and the desperate and his only complaint was about the people of the Pasedena, where the majority of the film was shot, who he described as “Nothing but a bunch of Low Rent Motherf**kers!”.

THE BEST OF THE REST

Besides checking out the filmography of Hal Manciano, I’ve also been picking out some of the threads that have caught my eye on the Cult Labs forums this week.

• Arrow Video – Tenebrae – All of the artwork has now been announced so what do you think?
• Love Goddess of the Cannibals (SHAM022) – Web-friendly trailer is now up!
• A Lizard in a Woman’s Skin UK DVD – Have you had a chance to watch this yet? Post your feedback!
• Tell us what you want! – Well? Go on then!
• How did you discover Cult Labs? – Our eyes met across a crowded room… What about you?
• The Evil Dead Saga – Chat about these seminal horror films here!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“It takes a special kind of talent to make a film as bad as Troll 2 that is somehow strangely enjoyable.” – Nosferatu clearly marked my final filmmaking project in uni!

KYLE’S COMP CORNER

Post-budget we may all need to tighten our belts, but fear not! You can win your next Shameless DVD without having to part with a penny! This week Kyle is giving away the Joe D’Amato sleaze-o-rama, Love Goddess of the Cannibals! To be in with a chance of winning you need to head over to the Comp Corner now! Good luck!

WELCOME NEWBIES!

This week I’d like to say hello to MikeOutWest, Broken_path, dullboy, TheMadmanMarz, zwoti and JediLarfleeze. Hope you all have a great time in the Labs!

AND FINALLY…

If you have any comments, feedback or anything you’d like to see featured in the newsletter, PM me at Sarah@Cult Labs or drop me a line on the newsletter thread!

Until next week,

Sarah@Cult Labs.