It’s Valentine’s Day! The time of year when emotions run wild, florists are raking in the profits and hearts are beating with love. Hearts; big fat succulent hearts… buried deep inside the warm juicy chests of the frightened living as hordes of flesh-eating undead burst from their rotting tombs to feast. For any one looking to escape from all this lovey-dovey, sickeningly soppy commercial holiday a good ol’ blood-soaked zombie film may seem like the best idea. Wrongo! Zombies need love too, you know. So, ladies and gentlemen, living and undead, here’s a rundown of the top 10 greatest zombie romances. Being the undecisive fool that I am, I couldn’t pick which was the best, so these are all in no particular order; they’re all awesome. Enjoy!
10. Dellamorte Dellamore (aka. Cemetery Man) [1994]
Kicking off this list is the very strange and perculiar Dellamorte Dellamore. Staring none other than Prince Charming himself, Rupert Everett, this entry into the undead genre of cinema tells the story of a graveyard in which the dead come back to life seven days after their cadavers are buried. Based upon a book, Dellamorte Dellamore has two necrophillic love interests in…one of which between a mentally challanged guy and a flying severed zombified head. Utterly crazy and truly bizarre, Dellamorte Dellamore is a must-have for any zombie fan! The Shameless DVD is out on the 27th Feb and can be pre-ordered here.
9. Braindead [1992]
One cannot claim to be a ‘zombie fan’ if one has yet to see Braindead. Back before Peter Jackson even thought of venturing into Middle Earth, he gave the world this undead treat full. Claimed to be one of the bloodiest films ever made, Braindead features a not-so-touchy sexual entanglement between a zombie nurse and a rotting undead priest. It’s love at first sight for these decomposing love birds as they’re literally eating the face off each other as soon as they’re finished a romantic meal…or something like that. A personal favourite this film serves as a rite of passage for zombie-philes. If you’ve yet to see Jackson’s earlier films Bad Taste and the Muppets-on-drugs Meet The Feebles then those two come highly recommended.
8. Burial Ground (aka. The Zombie Dead, Le Notti Del Terrore)[1981]
As Braindead touches on, everyone knows that the most important lady in anyone’s life should be their mother. Just ask Norman Bates. So it seems only fitting that a list of zombie-love includes some maternal passion or, if you prefer, Oedipus Complex. This Italian cheese-fest features one of the oddest mother and son relationships you’re ever likely to see on screen. With the frankly disturbing portrayal of little Michael by the freakish-looking midget Peter Bark and his slutty brainless mother, the film climaxs in a revolting breast-feeding scene. It’s just wrong on so many levels. Its just so wrong!
7. Zombie Honeymoon [2004]
If you’re after something a little more romantic to share with your loved ones this Valentine’s instead of titty-eating, then look no further than the emotional Zombie Honeymoon. It tells the tale of a happily just-married couple who vows of ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ are put to the test when, during this honeymoon, one of the pair is bitten by an infected shambling corpse. What follows is an incredible slow transformation from the bubbly living to the flesh-hungry walking dead. The living in love with the undead, it’s been done plenty of times (The Corpse Bride for instance) but never like this.
6. Otto: Or, Up With Dead People [2008]
From the adult-film director Bruce La Bruce, comes this gruesome and sexual offering into the world of zombie cinema. Perhaps the most arty-farty of all the films listed, Otto: Or, Up With Dead People tells the tale of attractive (for a zombie!) Otto and his personal journey with coming to terms with his sexuality…and the fact that he’s a rotting corpse of course. If you look beyond the pretentious nonesense, there’s a lot to love in this film – it’s both funny, touching, sexy and different! Whilst not the first gay zombie film (from the characters in the atmospheric Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things to the pornographic Night Of The Living Dead spoof, At Twilight Comes The Flesheaters and the super-fun Night Of The Creeps are just a few earlier examples), it’s also not the last with La Bruce’s highly controversial L.A. Zombie being banned for it’s graphic depictions.
5. Shivers [1975]
Yet more sex in Cronenberg’s classic film Shivers. Parasitic slug-like creatures are causing havoc in a Canadian high-rise, turning everyone they can into horny, sexually obsessed rowdy zombies. At this rate, the world will soon be one huge orgy! Men, Women, Children, Old Women…everyone is getting their freak on. Shivers is a fantastic film and one of Cronenberg‘s greatest. If you feel something slither into your orifices this Valentine’s, make sure it’s only your special someone!
4. Night Gallery – “The Dead Man” [1969]
From the incredible mind of Rod “Twilight Zone” Serling, comes one of the greatest TV anthology series, The Night Gallery. Kicking of the show with the very first and star-studded episode is a story of science, jelousy, love, murder and the dead. It’s very hard to say anything without spoiling the plot, but when an experiement of the mind to cure death goes wrong things quickly fall apart. A fantastic episode that could make a superb feature-length film!
3. Rigamortis: A Zombie Love Story
From America comes this low-budget, independent comedy short thats sweet, funny and nice and gory. At only 36 minutes long, Rigamortis is a quick and fun ride about two zombies who fall in love. Aww. But wait, there’s more! It’s a musical! Yes, a freakin’ musical! Visit the film’s official website for more details. If you fancy a brain-eating zombie sing-a-long this Valentines, there’s quite a few films to choose from, including Z-Day: The Zombie Musical (short), Dead & Breakfast (trailer), the catchy Dawn Of The Night Of The Dead (short), Jackson’s Thriller, zombie cats in MEOW or take a trip to the theatre to see Zombie Prom.
2. The Return Of The Living Dead [1985]
We’ve gotta fight for the right…to paaaaarty. The Return Of The Living Dead is a true undead classic (the sequels…uh not so much) and features a great love story between Tina and the zombifying Freddy (Thom Matthews). Even when rigamortis has set in, ol’ Freddy is still the romantic type, prefering a girl for her braaaaaains. And let’s not forget Trash’s love fantasy of being eaten by hundreds of gropping old men! Like Braindead if you’ve not seen this yet, well shame, shame, shame on you. Of course, it was The Return Of The Living Dead III that really focused on zombie love – it’s the Romeo And Juliet of zombie cinema.
1. All the others! [1932 onwards]
Yeah, I know, it’s a bit of a cop-out but of course, this list only scratches the surface of all those zombie films with love in them (undead or otherwise). From Shaun Of The Dead to White Zombie to Zombies Of Mass Destruction, the Re-Animator series and Night Of The Creeps. The list is endless.
If you have any examples, don’t hesitate to leave a comment! We’d love to hear from you. Or, alternatively, visit our forum at www.Cult-Labs.com and discuss zombie, horror, cult films to your hearts content.
Happy Valentine’s Day zombie-fans!