[Tobias discovers that George Sr. has been living in the attic]
Tobias Fünke: What are you doing up here?
George Sr.: I'm having a ****ing tea party, what does it look like I'm doing?
[he shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth]
George Sr.: I'm living up here and if you tell anyone about this, I will ****ing kill you. Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.
Gob: Hey, guy. They tell me you're the actor who plays Marta's brother, Tio.
Spanish actor: Como?
Gob: Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right.
[Michael has found his brother, Gob, hidden in his office]
Michael: One of those British guys came up to me and told me to back off. I can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This may be dangerous.
Gob: So you came back here to hide like a child.
Michael: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
Gob: Hiding from a child. Big difference.
Michael: Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection.
Gob: He doesn't know what he feels. I'm tired of being told - my God. What is this feeling?
[Schmaltzy music begins to play]
Michael: You know, the feeling that you're feeling is just what many of us call... a "feeling".
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite - it's like my heart is getting hard.
[the music reaches its crescendo]
Gob: Maybe I am ready to be a father.
Gob: Michael, I'm your big brother. I'll never be impressed with you.
Michael Bluth: So this is the magic trick, huh?
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth: Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...
[sees children watching his magic]
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth: ...or candy!
Gob: You know, I sorta thought my contribution... could be a magic show!
Michael: Hey, that's great! That's perfect, Gob! Oh, wait, I just remembered, Dad's retiring, not turning six.
Gob: What did you come here for, Michael? I hope it's not for a handout. I run a pretty tight ship around here.
Michael: With a pool table.
Gob: It's a gaming ship
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