[Daemonia]

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest with a photograph.

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom

A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.