BURIAL GROUND – Was a real pleasure to revisit this tawdry heap of nonsense again. Dead vs the living may have been done many times better before and since, but there's no topping 'Burial Ground' for sheer unembarrassed idiocy. I won't even get into the many dimensions of wrongness through which the uninformed viewer of 'Burial Ground' might be dragged, but, slightly rancid mother love aside, the whole thing is just one long undead attack – I wish that today's zombie losers would take note and stop toying with shite notions like 'character' and 'plot development' etc etc. Recommended, especially if you're feeling jaded after watching too much lame goods recently (like me, obviously).
THE TAKING – TV stalwart Jill Larson plays a woman in the initial stages of Alzheimers who is also being possessed by the spirit of a seventies child killer. Some medical researchers are on standby to ensure it all gets turned into a found footage horror flick. Bad luck, Jill. 'The Taking' is pretty good actually, and gets quite a lot of mileage out of some very obvious moves simply due to tha fact that it has energy and pacing on its side, not to mention good performances from the likes of Larson et al and some freaky imagery at the end (I refer to the bit where Larson appears to be trying to swallow a little girl's head... one of those 'you had to be there' moments, I guess). The found footage thing melts into the background, thankfully, and was a mere narrative ploy anyway just to get the researchers in the picture - the whole thing looks well shot after a while. Seems to be quite well regarded, and I think it's definitely worth seeing.
THE FALLOW FIELD – Brit indie from a few years back. Reminded me a little of B Wheately, and not just 'cos of the 'field' reference in the title, either... something wyrd, rural and English about it, all long shadows across the misty downs. Sets itself up as a amnesia themed thriller, then totally upskittles this and goes for the supernatural, complete with gibbering half man chained up in a farm's outhouse. Quite eerie in places, and manages to both intrigue and conjure a certain atmosphere. Recommended.
THE VINEYARD – I've reviewed this before, so why am I doing it again? Because it's brilliant, that's why. Ah, you can tell from my tone that no, perhaps it is not brilliant. A film producer / wine maker / alchemist – go on, why not? - keeps bad underwear models chained up in his cellar whilst various house guests wander around and do some really lame dialogue. A bunch of zombies turn up unexpectedly, but inconsequentially, at the end. If it came down to either watching this or dreaming of going to Wilkos and buying a stack of polystyrene cups I'd pick the former, but you'll really wonder what was so good about the eighties.
RETRIBUTION – Some painter guy who looks like C Walken reincarnated as a pudgy librarian attempts to end it all by leaping – when he comes to, he eventually finds that he's possessed by the spirit of a mobster out for revenge. Reassuringly gaudy looking in that classically eighties sense – mucho neon and gel on show. All good, but 'Retribution' goes on for too long, and fails to pack as much trashy horror in as it might, preferring, despite the presence of a couple of serviceable gore scenes, to follow painter guy as he emotes with his psych doc and hooker buddy. Still, points on for the lamest reason for spirit transmission in the whole of cinema – the invading entity had the same birthday as our hero.
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