[
03]
Blood Diner
A radio news bulletin in the opening moments of Blood Diner perfectly sets the tone for proceedings, warning us of a suspect in an all-girls glee club slaying, armed with a meat cleaver in one hand and their genitals in the other. Blood Diner was one of a glut of horror comedies from the period, perhaps less fondly remembered than its 1987 contemporaries, the likes of Bad Taste and Street Trash. Blood Diner is so stuffed with jokes and puns that it wears down your resistance, what shouldn’t be funny becomes funny, and what is funny becomes riotous. From the disembodied brain of Uncle Anwar, who steals the show with some killer one-liners, the rival restaurant owner and his ventriloquist dummy, to the Egyptian Goddess Sheetar, who appears to have had an ‘80s makeover replete with gold foil disco wig and a stomach that resembles the Sarlacc from Return Of The Jedi, it’s pure cheese. Blood Diner is endearingly kitsch, a time capsule of the period, completely unhinged and over the top, a genuine pleasure to watch.
[
04]
Curtain
I can’t help but admire the inventiveness of modern independent horror. Sure, a great deal of them remake or regurgitate, but every year a handful of films do something a little bit different, outside of the box. Curtain is definitely one of those films; I can honestly say I’ve never seen a film about missing shower curtains before. The element of surprise of such an offbeat concept is endearing. Sadly the film never really capitalises on the potential of the concept. The protagonists are loveable losers, Danni, despondent after quitting her job as a nurse and Tim a dreamer who lacks the courage to follow his dreams, both united by a campaign to save whales… and locate a missing shower curtain. The despairing duo are the heart of the film, but nothing quite as ably provides the horror. The gateway element isn’t adequately explored and the sort of anti-cult lacks any kind of imposing presence. Director Jaron Henrie-McCrea is clearly a fan of Hitchcock, he gave away shower curtains at the film’s premiere, and brilliantly titled his first feature Pervertigo, but unlike Hitchcock he never quite manages to build suspense.