[Demoncrat]

Originally Posted by keirarts

Shark Exorcist.

f****** hell.

When you see a shark film these days the basic assumption is the film is going to be a deliberately constructed 'bad film' that's designed to appeal to the 'so bad its good' crowd while showing at least a level of technical proficiency that means the film-makes stand half a chance of working again.
Sometimes you come across films like ghost shark where the money wasn't there and the film suffers more as a result. Very rarely however, does one come across a film so inept that you realise the basic fundamentals of film-making have not only escaped the makers, but were probably never there to begin with.
The plot, as best i can understand it, involves some kind of satanic nun who has summoned the devil in the form of a glowing eyed shark. Various hot women get bit and become sharks... at least I think that's what happens. Characters wander out of frame and disappear entirely from the scene only appearing later. It then occurs to me some point later in the evening that they may have transformed into a shark. Its just that the makers of this garbage fire could not afford or be bothered or have the talent to put this across to the audience. Characters move about in scenes as if they have developed the ability to teleport around the scene at will. Phantom cameramen film things then disappear and the same awful CG shark footage is recycled. One character that only appears in a dream sequence for most of the film reappears in an end credits sequence fondling toy sharks and leering at the camera. At one point I was convinced she was going to use a plastic shark as a dildo. Sadly it wasn't meant to be.
The whole affair has a car crash appeal to it. Its like someone gave Ed woods mentally handicapped cousin a camera and a bunch of models and said 'have at it.'

Sold. Worse than Aquanoids apparently