[Inspector Abberline]

"Apaches" UK Public Information Film (1977)

Apaches is the Bay of Blood of public information films, It tells the innocent story of a group of young children playing cowboys and Indians on an old farm.But like any good slasher movie, the body count is extremely high..The first poor sod to die, just as he manages to hijack a tractor and trailer for the Indian nation, unfortunately he does not get very far and falls under the wheels of the trailer, leaving only a blood smear stain and a broken rifle on the floor.The second poor lad to die comes to a rather sticky end as he manages to fall straight into what looks like a manure pit, slowly sinking down into the goo, it looks fairly comical until it dawns on you exactly what he is sinking into.As the kids explore the old farm, seemingly unaware that their numbers are slowly dwindling, they discover some jars of innocuous liquid, and yes you guess it the girl drinks some (showing off to the boys no doubt).Her screams in the night fill the night sky as another bites the dust.Still unperturbed by the fact that this group of friends seems to have a bigger death wish than your average Bronson movie, the smaller group are back again playing cops and robbers, and at least one robber goes behind bars as a giant wrought iron gate falls on him and crushes the poor mite. Now down to just two boys, one wonders what terrors are left to inflict on these young uns.How about driving a tractor down the embankment. And just to drive home the point the whole thing is narrated by one of the boys, right up until his own funeral, where we see his poor family grieving and having what he calls an adult party, but what turns out to be his wake,crikey ...and I thought Swap Shop on a Saturday morning was grim.