Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
The Mind Robber – Episode 1
Jamie: Come on, back to the TARDIS.
Zoe: Is that the right way?
Jamie: Of course it's the right way... Oh... Err... No, it could be... erm... oh.
Zoe: We're lost, aren't we?
Jamie: No, I wouldn't say that. We're just err... well, the... um... We're just a...
[beat] You want to know something?
Zoe: What?
Jamie: I think we're lost.
Zoe: Oh, this isn't a joke, Jamie!
Jamie: No, you're right. The Doctor was saying that those images we saw on the scanner were put here to tempt us out.
Zoe: Well, if somebody was trying to tempt us away, where are they? And who are they?
Jamie: Aye. Aye. Well, let's not be in too much of a hurry to find that out, ey?
Zoe: But, what are we going to do?
Jamie: Well, the TARDIS can't be that far away. No, if we stand here and shout for The Doctor, when he hears us, he can guide us back. Doctor!
Zoe: Doctor! Can you hear us?
The Mind Robber – Episode 2
Dora [OC]: Cooeee!
The Doctor: Is that you, Zoe?
(A Victoria or Edwardian girl appears behind the doctor and a boy in front of him. She is from Edith Nesbit's Treasure Seekers, the eldest of the Bastable children.) Dora: Cooeee!
The Doctor: Who's that? Who are you?
(Now there are four boys and two girls around him.) Well. Well, well, well, well, well. How do you do?
Oswald: Why did the chicken cross the road?
The Doctor: Well, really, I don't think this is the time for riddles.
Dora: You must answer. Why did the chicken cross the road?
The Doctor: Oh very well. To get to the other side, or so I've always been led to believe. Now would you mind telling me...
Oswald: Which is correct. The yolk of an egg is white or the yolk of an egg are white?
The Doctor: Neither, it's yellow.
Alice: How many beans make five?
The Doctor: I...
Dicky: Where was Moses when the lights went out?
The Doctor: Well, I...
Noel: Adam and Eve and Pinch Me went down to the river to bathe.
Children: Adam and Eve got drowned. Who do you think was saved?
The Doctor: Well, Pinch Me, obviously.
(So they pinch him, obviously.) Ow! No! Stop it! Don't do that! Now it's my turn to ask you questions.
(The first boy holds a sword blade to the Doctor's throat.) Oswald: What can you make of a sword?
The Doctor: Huh?
Oswald: What can you make of it?
Dicky: Rearrange it.
Noel: Think.
Dora: This is your last chance.
Alice: S W O R D. Rearrange.
The Doctor: S W O R D. Rearrange. Well, rearranged it makes W O R D S. Words.
Children: Hooray!
(Oswald throws the sword in the air. The Doctor reaches to catch it and gets a large book instead.) The Doctor: Well, it's a dictionary. Words.
Oswald: You have answered correctly.
Dora: You may be suitable.
The Doctor: Suitable?
Alice: I do hope so.
Horace: Come on, it's teatime!
Dicky: I'm hungry!
Noel: Race you home!
(The children run off and vanish.) The Doctor: Words.
The Mind Robber – Episode 3
Jamie: So far, so good. Some sort of castle. Well, Jamie, now where? Well, you don't have much choice, do you?
(Jamie pulls on the rope. A blonde girl in mediaeval dress comes to the window.) Rapunzel: Ouch! I suppose you know that hurts.
Jamie: You mean, this is your hair?
Rapunzel: Of course. I don't object to people climbing it. I'm quite used to it, actually. But you would keep tugging so.
Jamie: Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Rapunzel: Are you a Prince?
Jamie: No. Why?
Rapunzel: You're supposed to be. I'm a princess, but I suppose you knew that. My name is Rapunzel. You're not a woodcutter's son, by any chance?
Jamie: No, I'm the son of a piper.
Rapunzel: Oh, how very disappointing. Well, in that case I think you'd better go. Goodbye.
Jamie: Your highness, wait.
Rapunzel: Well?
Jamie: I can't go back there, it's a sheer drop, and well, I can't just stand out here. I'll have to climb though the window.
Rapunzel: Oh. Well, I don't know if that will be allowed.
Jamie: Well, I won't stay long. Just passing through, you might say. Och, please.
Rapunzel: It's a great pity you're not a prince. You'd have made rather a good one. Well, I suppose you'd better come inside. For goodness sake be quiet.
The Mind Robber – Episode 4
Master: Resistance is useless. Submit your will for the sake of the greater good. It has been decided.
The Doctor: I refuse. I shall make that decision for myself.
The Mind Robber – Episode 5
Gulliver: We obey our creator, that is all that can be expected of any character, unless the Master bids us otherwise.