Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
The Sontaran Stratagem
Donna: I can't believe I'm doing this!
The Doctor: No, neither can I. Oh, careful.
(He hits the console with a hammer and pulls a lever, then lets Donna take control again.) Left hand down. Left hand down! Getting a bit too close to the 1980s.
Donna: What am I going to do, put a dent in them?
The Doctor: Well, someone did.
(A telephone rings.) Donna: Hold on. That's a phone.
(The Doctor takes a mobile phone from a socket in the console.) You've got a mobile? Since when?
The Doctor: It's not mine.
(He answers the it.) Hello?
Martha: Doctor? It's Martha, and I'm bringing you back to Earth.
(The Tardis materialises in an alleyway behind Martha, and the Doctor steps out.) The Doctor: Martha Jones.
Martha: Doctor.
(They hug.) The Doctor: You haven't changed a bit.
Martha: Neither have you.
The Doctor: How's the family?
Martha: You know. Not so bad. Recovering.
(Donna comes out of the Tardis.) The Doctor: What about you?
Martha: Right. Should have known. Didn't take you long to replace me, then.
The Doctor: Now, don't start fighting. Martha, Donna. Donna, Martha. Please don't fight. Can't bear fighting.
Donna: You wish.
(The women shake hands.) I've heard all about you. He talks about you all the time.
Martha: I dread to think.
Donna: No, no, no. No, ne says nice things. Good things. Nice things. Really good things.
Martha: Oh my God. He's told you everything.
Donna: Didn't take long to get over it though. Who's the lucky man?
The Doctor: What man? Lucky what?
Donna: She's engaged, you prawn.
The Doctor: Really? Who to?
Martha: Tom. That Tom Milligan. He's in pediatrics. Working out in Africa right now. And yes, I know, I've got a doctor who disappears off to distant places. Tell me about it.
Donna: Is he skinny?
Martha: No, he's sort of strong.
Donna: He is too skinny for words. You give him a hug, you get a paper cut.
The Doctor: Oh, I'd rather you were fighting.
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The Doctor: Sontaran! That's your name, isn't it? You're a Sontaran. How did I know that, hey? Fascinating isn't it? Isn't that worth keeping me alive?
Jenkins: I order you to surrender in the name of the Unified Intelligence Taskforce.
The Doctor: Well that's not going to work. Cordolaine signal, am I right? Copper excitation stopping the bullets.
Staal: How do you know so much?
The Doctor: Well.
Staal: Who is he?
Rattigan: He didn't give his name.
The Doctor: But this isn't typical Sontaran behaviour, is it? Hiding? Using teenagers, stopping bullets? A Sontaran should face bullets with dignity. Shame on you.
Staal: You dishonour me, sir.
The Doctor: Yeah? Then show yourself.
Staal: I will look into my enemy's eyes!
(Staal removes his helmet.) Jenkins: Oh, my God.
The Doctor: And your name?
Staal: General Staal, of the Tenth Sontaran Fleet. Staal the Undefeated.
The Doctor: Oh, that's not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? Staal the Not Quite So Undefeated Anymore But Never Mind?
Jenkins: He's like a potato. A baked potato. A talking baked potato.
The Doctor: Now, Ross, don't be rude. You look like a pink weasel to him. The Sontarans are the finest soldiers in the galaxy, dedicated to a life of warfare. A clone race, grown in batches of millions with only one weakness.
Staal: Sontarans have no weakness.
The Doctor: No, it's a good weakness.
Rattigan: Aren't you meant to be clever? Only an idiot would provoke him.
The Doctor: No, but the Sontarans are fed by a probic vent in the back of their neck. That's their weak spot. Which means, they always have to face their enemies in battle. Isn't that brilliant? They can never turn their backs.
Staal: We stare into the face of death.
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Staal: Our presence is known. Soldiers, we move to a war footing.
Skorr: I see you face battle open skinned, sir. Might I share that honour?
Staal: You may.
Skorr: Thank you.
(He removes his helmet.) Rattigan: How do you tell each other apart?
Staal: We say the same of humans.
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Staal: War can never come too soon. Take your last look, boy.
Rattigan: It was never big enough for me.
Staal: I like your ambition.
Rattigan: That doctor, he was in a UNIT jeep. It should have ATMOS installed.
Staal: You said you didn't know his name.
Rattigan: I don't. He just said doctor. Does that mean something?
Staal: There is an enemy of the Sontarans known as the Doctor. A face-changer.
Rattigan: Do you mean he's an alien too?
Staal: Legend says that he led the battle in the last great Time War. The finest war in history and we weren't allowed to be a part of it. Oh, but this is excellent. The last of the Time Lords will die at the hands of the Sontaran empire, in the ruins of his precious Earth.