Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
Thin Ice
Bill: Doesn't anyone notice the Tardis?
The Doctor: Your species hardly notices anything.
(Inside the Tardis, the scanner lights up most of the Thames from beyond the Isle of Dogs to past the Houses of Parliament in red, and reports Warning: Life form detected.) Bill: So, what are the rules?
The Doctor: Rules?
Bill: Yeah. Travelling to the past, There's got to be rules. If I step on a butterfly, it could send ripples through time that mean I'm not even born in the first place and I could just disappear.
The Doctor: Definitely. I mean, that's what happened to Pete.
Bill: Pete?
The Doctor: Your friend, Pete. He was standing there a moment ago, but he stepped on a butterfly and now you don't even remember him.
Bill: Shut up! I'm being serious!
The Doctor: Yeah, so was Pete.
Bill: You know what I mean. Every choice I make in this moment, here and now, could change the whole future.
The Doctor: Exactly like every other day of your life. The only thing to do is to stop worrying about it.
Bill: Hmm. Okay. If you say so.
The Doctor: Pete's stopped worrying.
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Bill: Interesting.
The Doctor: What is?
Bill: Regency England. Bit more black than they show in the movies.
The Doctor: So was Jesus. History's a whitewash.
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The Doctor: These men, why do we trust them?
Overseer: Hired them all myself, sir.
The Doctor: Ah. Why do I trust you?
Overseer: Sir?
The Doctor: You understand how important this is, yes? It is imperative that no one discovers where the stuff goes when it leaves here.
Overseer: Oh, I know that, sir. We use unmarked carts.
The Doctor: Are they ever followed?
Overseer: Oh no, sir.
The Doctor: Have you checked this personally?
Overseer: Oh yes, sir.
The Doctor: All the way to Hampton?
Overseer: No, to the steel mill, sir.
The Doctor: Hampton is code for the steel mill.
Overseer: Code, sir?
The Doctor: Yes. Yes, we need to use code otherwise anyone could walk in here and get you blabbing like a fool.
Overseer: That's a good point, sir.
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Bill: So, you think Sutcliffe is an alien?
The Doctor: Possibly.
Bill: Because the creature is an alien.
The Doctor: It certainly appears to be producing fuel suitable for interstellar travel. Either way, Bill, I need you to leave the talking to me.
Bill: Why?
The Doctor: Because you have a temper.
Bill: Oh okay, well, I lost it a tiny bit.
The Doctor: You're about to meet a man, alien or otherwise, for whom human beings are raw material. Who grinds up children for profit. What we are here for is one thing. Information. We get that with diplomacy and tact. Charm, if necessary.
Bill: Okay. I get it.
(She plonks herself down in an armchair.) The Doctor: Always remember, Bill. Passion fights, but reason wins.
(Lord Sutcliffe enters with the Doctor's psychic paper.) Sutcliffe: Doctor Disco, from the Fairford Club! Obviously, one aspires to membership, but to actually be considered for
(Sees Bill.) Who, who let this creature in here? On your feet, girl, in the presence of your betters.
(The Doctor taps Sutcliffe on the shoulder then punches him on jaw very, very hard.) The Doctor: He's human. Thirty one years of age. Low on iron.
Bill: Yeah, that was pretty convincing racism for an extra-terrestrial.
The Doctor: My thoughts exactly.
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Nardole: All right. There you go. There's your tea. I put a bit of coffee in it, as well, just to give it some flavour. See, it's much better when you stick to your oath.
(He notices their change of clothes.) Oh sir, no. This is unacceptable. This is beyond unacceptable. This is naughty.
The Doctor: Language.
(Bill is doing internet searches on her phone.) Bill: I don't get it. London, 1814. Monster, sea creature, serpent, really, really big fish. Nothing.
Nardole: Sir, you said you wouldn't be going off-world.
The Doctor: Do these look like off-world clothes to you?
Nardole: But, sir, you said you'd be coming back to your office!
The Doctor: Look, here I am. I'm in my office. I'm drinking my tea, in my specially chosen tea clothes.
Bill: I don't understand. How could it not have been headline news?
The Doctor: Never underestimate the collective human ability to overlook the inexplicable. Also, the Frost Fair involved a lot of day drinking.
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Nardole: Leave him alone. Huh. Chance would be a fine thing. Leave me alone. How about that for a new idea? I didn't ask to be re-assembled, did I?
(Something thumps on the vault door, from the inside.) Knocking. What was that about? No one's going to open the door, just because you're knocking!
(Bang, bang, bang!) Oh, getting cocky now, are you? Why? What do you think you know? What has he told you?
(Bang, bang, bang.) Because, yeah, he may have a little friend now and, yeah, he may be a little bit distracted but I tell you something, I'm still here. And as long as I'm still here, you are going nowhere!
(But the loud banging is scaring him.)