Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
World Enough And Time
(Massive engines on a spaceship are blasting out thrust. Space debris zooms past it and falls past the event horizon of a black hole. The camera takes us into a room protruding from the ship's bow ever so slightly. The Tardis materialises up some steps to the left of a central chair under the watchful eye of a CCTV camera. The Tardis door opens and an Edwardian woman prances out with hat and parasol.) Missy: Hello. I'm Doctor Who. And these are my plucky assistants, Thing One and the Other One.
(Bill and Nardole follow Missy out of the Tardis. They all have large earpieces in their right ears, like lumps of cork sticking out.) Nardole: Bill. Nardole.
Missy: We picked up your distress call,
(big wink) and here we are to help, like awesome heroes.
(Missy does a twirl for the camera.) Bill: Yeah, we're not, we're not assistants.
Missy: Okay, right, so, so what does he call you? Companions? Pets? Snacks?
(Red lights come on and a rhythmic alarm sounds.) Oh, someone's watching.
(dances) Well, that's quite a good beat, really, isn't it?
Nardole: Yeah. Maybe we should be moving on?
Bill: Yeah, and he calls us friends.
Missy: Ew, Doctor. But think of the age gap.
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Missy: You're probably handsome, aren't you? Well, congratulations on your relative symmetry.
Jorj [on screen]: Who are you?
Missy: Well, I am that mysterious adventurer in all of time and space, known only as Doctor Who. And these are my disposables, Exposition and Comic Relief.
Nardole: We're not functions.
Missy: Darling, those were genders.
Jorj [on screen]: Please, stay exactly where you are for your own safety.
Missy: He likes me. So exciting.
Jorj [on screen]: I'm coming through.
Missy: Hurry, my stallion. And if I'm in the shower, just bring me some beans on toast. That's
Nardole: Urgh.
Missy: That's roughly human flirting, isn't it?
Bill: So, why do you keep calling yourself Doctor Who?
Missy: Because I'm pretending to be him. Because that's the whole point of this ridiculous exercise.
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Bill: Sorry, what do you mean, it's his real name? Nobody knows the Doctor's real name.
Missy: I do, because I grew up with him, and his real name is Doctor Who.
The Doctor: Bill, she's just trying to wind you up.
Missy: Chose it himself, you know, trying to sound mysterious. And then he dropped the Who when he realised it was a tiny bit on the nose.
The Doctor: Stop teasing her and focus.
Bill: Is she serious, though, Doctor? Is your real name Doctor Who?
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Jorj:
(to Missy) Are you human?
Missy: Oh, don't be a bitch.
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The Doctor: She was my first friend, always so brilliant, from the first day at the Academy. So fast, so funny. She was my man crush.
Bill: I'm sorry?
The Doctor: Yeah, I think she was a man back then. I'm fairly sure that I was, too. It was a long time ago, though.
Bill: So, the Time Lords, bit flexible on the whole man-woman thing, then, yeah?
The Doctor: We're the most civilised civilisation in the universe. We're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and its associated stereotypes.
Bill: But you still call yourselves Time Lords?
The Doctor: Yeah. Shut up.
Bill: Okay.
The Doctor: We had a pact, me and him. Every star in the universe, we were going to see them all. But he was too busy burning them. I don't think she ever saw anything.
Bill: And you think that if she did, she'd change?
The Doctor: I know she would. I know it.
Bill: You're a bloody idiot. You know that, yeah?
The Doctor: Of course.
Bill: She scares me. Like, she really scares me. Okay. So promise me one thing, yeah? Just promise you won't get me killed.
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(The Doctor is kneeling by Bill's body when the three lift doors open. Back-lit figures wheeling IV drips come out. They have ribbed knitted bags over their heads. Strange, the graphic only showed 2 lift shafts... ) Nardole: What are they? What are those things?
The Doctor: You're too late, she's dead. Don't you touch her. Don't you lay a finger on her.
(The figure jabs at a computer keyboard.) Voice: Stand. Away. Stand. Away. She. Will. Be. Repaired.
(The slower lift arrives at a fourth larger 'cargo lift' door, and a gurney is wheeled out by two similar beings.) The Doctor: Repaired?
Voice: Stand. Away.
The Doctor: You can help her? Is that what you mean?
(Bill is gently placed on the gurney.) Where are you going? What are you going to do with her?
Voice: Re-pair.
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Razor: Do you want the good tea or the bad tea?
Bill: What's the difference?
Razor: I call one good, one bad.
Bill; Er, I'll take the good one.
Razor: Excellent, positive attitude. Will help with the horror to come.
Bill: What horror?
Razor: Mainly the tea.
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Razor: Hello.
Missy: Hello, ordinary person. Please maintain a minimum separation of three feet. I'm really trying not to kill anyone today, but it would be tremendously helpful if your major arteries were out of reach.
Razor:
(laughs) I have been so looking forward to meeting you.
Missy: Right. I'm very happy for you.
Razor: I was watching you on the screen. It took me a while to work out who you were.
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Missy: Am I supposed to know what you're talking about? Would it help you focus if I extracted some of your vital organs and made a lovely soup?
Razor: You would never be so self-destructive.
Missy: So what?
Razor: But then again, neither would I.
(He tosses the gun aside.) I love disguises. Do you still like disguises? Of course, they are rather necessary when you happen to be someone's former Prime Minister.
(He pulls off the mask to reveal - Harold Saxon!) Hello, Missy. I'm the Master, and I'm very worried about my future. Give us a kiss.
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The Doctor: It's a Cyberman. A Mondasian Cyberman! You're brand new, fresh out the factory. You're not ready for a fight yet.
Nardole: He does looks a little bit ready.
The Doctor: Bill Potts. Do you know where she is? Where is Bill Potts?
Cyberman:
(sing-song) Doc-tor.
The Doctor: You know me?
Cyberman: You are Doc-tor.
(The Doctor backs away as the Cyberman advances.) The Doctor: Listen. We mean you no harm. We're just passing through. We're looking for Bill Potts, friend of mine.
Cyberman: Bill Potts.
The Doctor: Yes, Bill Potts. You're a Cyberman. You're part of a neural net. Can you find her?
Cyberman: Accessing.
Nardole: Get back from it.
Cyberman: Bill Potts. Locating Bill Potts. I am Bill Potts.
The Doctor: Bill? Bill, talk to me. What have they done to you?
Nardole: Operation Exodus, whatever that is.
Missy: Oh, wrong name, for a start.
(She goes and stands by Cyber-Bill's right shoulder.) Cyber-Bill: I waited.
Missy: This is not an exodus, is it? More of a beginning really, isn't it?
Cyber-Bill: I waited.
The Master: In fact, do you know what I'd call it? I'd call it a genesis.
(He stands by Cyber-Bill's left shoulder.) Missy: You've met the ex?
The Master: Specifically, the Genesis of the Cybermen.
(Cyber-Bill reaches for the Doctor.) Cyber-Bill: I waited for you.
(Zoom in on a weeping eye behind the blank round lens of the Cyberman helmet, which then leaks out to form the Cybus Cyberman eyepiece design.)