Back with the trash -
SPACESHIP TERROR – You could put an end to the whole thing and just call it a ‘Saw’ rip-off set on a spaceship, but that would not do justice to the unrelieved grottiness of ‘Spaceship Terror’. Well, I’ve given you the bare bones already – it’s a ‘Saw’ rip-off set on a spaceship – but the ones who get ‘sawed’ are all women who seem very keen to strip off their £1.99 Wilcos DIY paper spacesuits (then somehow don’t), whereas the hidden maniac is an extremely uninteresting man with a beard. I mentioned those £1.99 decorators’ overalls there – I’m convinced half of the budget went on them. That’s a cheap shot, but not half as cheap as this shitfest of a movie; it truly does make something like ‘Creepozoids’ seem more akin to a Merchant Ivory production. Turning that around, if you like films which look like they were shot on quite an old mobile phone that happens to be broken (it may just be the awful transfer, which is a riot of compression artefacts), if you like gratuitous, badly done gore, if you like the weird notion of nudity that mostly never quite materialises – believe me, it’s not that much of a tease here – then perhaps ‘Spaceship Terror’ is for you. The scuzziness extends beyond the look and feel, for there’s a sleazy sadism at work in places, although equally squirm-inducing for me was the constant, overly exaggerated screaming… although maybe the screams were my own, I can’t quite remember. ‘Spaceship Terror’; a baffling trash odyssey that isn’t even set in space.
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