Biggish backlog, so I'll try to be quick -
NINJA 3: THE DOMINATION – A first viewing, but if I ever need just one movie to sum up eighties neon trashiness, this’ll do it. A telephone repairwoman is possessed by the spirit of an evil ninja, leading to a tsunami of glowing dry ice and spandex workouts. A ripe delight from Cannon of yore.
TAMMY AND THE T-REX – Again, baffled to be watching this for the first time ever – it’s genius. Combines teen angst melodrama and high school hi-jinks with a flesh-ripping animatronic dinosaur and graphic brain surgery. ‘Screwed up’ comes in a variety of flavours but none taste as bent as this wacky nineties time capsule. I shall watch it again.
CTHULHU MANSION – JP Simon does for Lovecraft what he did for Hutson in ‘Cthulhu Mansion’, a film whose every frame seethes with the foul majesty of Yog Sothoth – not quite. In fact, not at all. It’s just some punks loose in a big house with Frank Finlay, of all bloody people. Anyone with a weakness for nineties trash will find something in it, and there are some perky moments such as the one when a bag of cocaine self-immolates, but bear in mind, it’s mostly just people running around arguing.
THE RESSURECTED – Another nineties stab at Lovecraft, this time from Dan O’Bannon, who here takes on ‘The Case Of Charles Dexter Ward’. Atmospheric enough from the outset, and the vague ponderousness that sets in wasn’t enough to unhook me before the twisted latex fx pieces stepped from the catacomb shadows. A quite-good movie that had greatness in it.
BLOOD THEATRE – Pretty mad stuff from the director of ‘Hobgoblins’. Unintentional (?) surrealism vies with poorly done comedy horror in a haunted movie theatre where the only sane entity is Mary Woronov. What is she, a bona fide cult figure who always has a strange intensity about her, doing with this bunch of stiffs? Some questions are unanswerable, but most of the ones posed by ‘Blood Theatre’ don’t make sense anyway. From its demented casio soundtrack, through random strange camera angles, indecipherable in-jokes (that door sound effect), nonsensical back-story, stillborn acting that would disgrace the contents of a morgue (MW aside), ‘Blood Theatre’ never fails to baffle. There are far, far worse films, but it is too pungent to simply be a bad film. That makes it interesting and worthwhile in my book, so I recommend it.
BIOHAZARD – A movie that wears its ‘trash’ badge with pride, ‘Biohazard’ is a Fred Olen Ray creature feature from the early / mid eighties and happens to be a lot of fun if you’re in the right mood. And who couldn’t love that ending? There is much else besides to recommend it. The little alien looks like a squashed beetle riffing on ET, Angelique Pettyjohn is a busty psychic and Aldo Ray manages his lines pretty well considering. Everything feels held together with see-through tape and a prayer, yet it still conjures an indisputable sense of wonder and movie magic if you’ll let it. It’s gorier than I remembered. Highly enjoyable.
LUZ – A very intriguing take on the theme of possession from director Tilman Singer. ‘Luz’ is arranged around a quite astounding police interrogation sequence, in which a hypnotised cab driver re-enacts the traumatic event that led her to the cop-shop using mime and props in a room which is basically just full of chairs and surveillance equipment. Eventually, as the past reveals more of itself, an even more cryptic interposition of different realities takes over, and identities fragment and well, you know, ‘qu’est que c’est’ (or maybe ‘was ist das’, it is German after all). It’s a film which is more about style and atmosphere, and everything feels very detached and austere at first, becoming more dream-like towards the end. Looking for easy answers? Watch ‘Biohazard’ (see above)! The hypnotherapist looks like a young Klaus Kinski.
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