Blood Feast (1963)
"Nothing so appalling in the annals of horror" claims the poster.
Well they weren't wrong there. HG Lewis's film is considered the first splatter movie and it is a delightfully bloody feast but although it's very gory it's also extremely fake with the special effects mainly consisting of draping butchers left overs on womens bodies. How the BBFC actually banned this i'll never know.
But at least the murders are fun and watchable. The rest of the film is abysmal, mainly consisting of two cops sat in the corner of the room discussing the murders and trying to figure them out - Before anyone asks, no it's not giallo-esq - or even worse, a young woman named Suzette boring us to tears about a dinner party being held in her honour (Which eventually turns out to be said blood feast). Suzette is played by Playboy pin up Connie Mason, and sadly for the viewer she's a truly terrible actress. Everyone else is bad but Mason is dire bordering on unwatchable.
The story for what it's worth focuses on a psycho caterer named Ramses who dismembers women so he can use their body parts in his cooking as ritualistic sacrifices to the Egyptian goddess Ishtar.
So, whilst the gore scenes are so bad they are genuinely good the rest of the film is just so bad it's bad. Arrow's Blu-ray release of this proves that you can actually polish a turd because it looks far better than this film deserves.
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