Screenplay TAKE 2!
Posted 19th January 2010 at 01:46 PM by iluvdvds@Cult Labs
Hi there! So, I've gone and done another version of the screenplay - see the other blog for more info.
I tried to make it less weird but well, it only got weirder as it went along!
Let me know what you make of it guys
Ext. Whitechapel. Night - 1888.
Dense fog covers the full moon as 1 walks along the deserted cobbled path. He wears a black top hat and a black cloak concealing his suit. In his gloved hand is a long metal silver cane which he uses to assist his walk. He has a limp.
He turns down a darkened alley as the twelve chimes from Big Ben can be heard in the distance. A newspaper blows in the wind, it reads "The Ripper Strikes Again. Ghastly Murder In The Westend".
1 notices a young female standing against the wall, underneath a fading street lantern. She is wearing a green dress. Her cleavage is on display. This is 2. She beckons 1 towards her and smiles with recognition.
1.
Oh.
2.
(Showing her leg)
Yes.
2 steps closer toward 1. She begins to wrap her arms around him. 1 steps back.
1.
Why are you doing this?
2.
It's for the best.
1.
You can't mean it!
2 steps closer again. She runs her hand up his trouser legs.
2.
No, I'm serious.
1 pushes 2 away again.
1.
Please!
2.
What?
1.
(In disgust)
What does this mean?
2 once again steps closer to 1. She wraps his arms around his waist and begins kissing his neck.
2.
Nothing.
As 2 continues to caress 1, 1 slowly reaches into his cape. He pulls out a knife, it is dulled by a previous stain of blood. 2 is oblivious to this.
1.
(Pointing)
Listen.
2 suddenly freezes and looks out toward the direction 1 is pointing. 1 silently raises his knife and in an instance slices 2's outstretched neck. 2 instinctively grips the fresh wound as her blood flows out.
2.
No...
Before 2 has time to scream for help, 1 wraps his gloved hand around 2's mouth. He teasingly waves the blade in front of her eyes. Laughing, he slowly moves the knife down her body, until stopping at her abdomen and slashing it open.
2's lifeless body collapses to the cobbled ground as the blood from the two cuts seep out staining the floor. 1 stands over her watching. He takes the cane and digs inside her abdomen. Kneeling down, he removes her kidney and tears part of her uterus out.
Looking around in fear of being seen, he proceeds to eat the victims kidney. As he bites, a strange green slime oozes out of the organ. He spits it out.
1.
So different!
Behind 1, the body of 2 slowly begins to rise. With a series of loud cracks her body begins to contort and transform; the bones in her body breaking and changing shape. Her skin begins to flake away, revealing underneath a dark brown fur. Her face elongates to reveal a long furry snout as her teeth lengthen and sharpen. Her fingers snap backwards as five long claws pierce through. 1 turns around and watches this transformation. He does not run.
After her transformation, 2 sits up and howls to the full moon.
2.
(Laughing)
Not really.
A series of high pitched howls are heard echoing 2's cry. From out of the fog, several large hairy wolf-like creatures crawl toward 1. They're mouths salivating and their eyes glowing red.
1 grabs a tight hold of his silver cane as the beasts jump into the air toward him. Instantly, 1 pierces one of the creatures hearts with the silver cane who howls in pain as it transforms into a dying female, dressed in a red dress.
The three other creatures pound towards him. 1 struggles with removing the silver cane from the dead woman's ribs. He is unable to do so in time and instead picks up the cane with the woman still on the end, and smashes the dead woman into one of the creature's face. With a scream the creature's skull bursts open who then begins to transform back into a, now dying, female too.
1 runs towards the bricked wall, followed by the two remaining creatures. With great strength he runs up the side of the wall and flips in the air. 1 flips the silver cane around, causing the dead woman to dislodge, sending her body flying over the building. 1, in mid-air, penetrates the two furry creature's hearts, one either side of the cane, as they leap towards him.
He lands on the floor, under the fading lantern, followed by the silver cane with two dead women, each wearing brightly colored dresses landing behind him.
2, watching from the rooftops, is gob smacked.
2.
You're quite good.
1.
Forget it!
2 notices 1's lame leg. It is covered in black fur.
2.
(Pointing at 1's leg)
What?
1 quickly covers his leg up with his cape.
1.
Go!
2.
I will.
2 sprints of into the fog. 1, grabbing his cane, looks around at the dead prostitutes bodies. The noise of police whistles is heard coming towards him.
Repositioning his top hat, he limps away from the dead women as several police officers run up the alleyway.
Cheers!!!!
I tried to make it less weird but well, it only got weirder as it went along!
Let me know what you make of it guys
Ext. Whitechapel. Night - 1888.
Dense fog covers the full moon as 1 walks along the deserted cobbled path. He wears a black top hat and a black cloak concealing his suit. In his gloved hand is a long metal silver cane which he uses to assist his walk. He has a limp.
He turns down a darkened alley as the twelve chimes from Big Ben can be heard in the distance. A newspaper blows in the wind, it reads "The Ripper Strikes Again. Ghastly Murder In The Westend".
1 notices a young female standing against the wall, underneath a fading street lantern. She is wearing a green dress. Her cleavage is on display. This is 2. She beckons 1 towards her and smiles with recognition.
1.
Oh.
2.
(Showing her leg)
Yes.
2 steps closer toward 1. She begins to wrap her arms around him. 1 steps back.
1.
Why are you doing this?
2.
It's for the best.
1.
You can't mean it!
2 steps closer again. She runs her hand up his trouser legs.
2.
No, I'm serious.
1 pushes 2 away again.
1.
Please!
2.
What?
1.
(In disgust)
What does this mean?
2 once again steps closer to 1. She wraps his arms around his waist and begins kissing his neck.
2.
Nothing.
As 2 continues to caress 1, 1 slowly reaches into his cape. He pulls out a knife, it is dulled by a previous stain of blood. 2 is oblivious to this.
1.
(Pointing)
Listen.
2 suddenly freezes and looks out toward the direction 1 is pointing. 1 silently raises his knife and in an instance slices 2's outstretched neck. 2 instinctively grips the fresh wound as her blood flows out.
2.
No...
Before 2 has time to scream for help, 1 wraps his gloved hand around 2's mouth. He teasingly waves the blade in front of her eyes. Laughing, he slowly moves the knife down her body, until stopping at her abdomen and slashing it open.
2's lifeless body collapses to the cobbled ground as the blood from the two cuts seep out staining the floor. 1 stands over her watching. He takes the cane and digs inside her abdomen. Kneeling down, he removes her kidney and tears part of her uterus out.
Looking around in fear of being seen, he proceeds to eat the victims kidney. As he bites, a strange green slime oozes out of the organ. He spits it out.
1.
So different!
Behind 1, the body of 2 slowly begins to rise. With a series of loud cracks her body begins to contort and transform; the bones in her body breaking and changing shape. Her skin begins to flake away, revealing underneath a dark brown fur. Her face elongates to reveal a long furry snout as her teeth lengthen and sharpen. Her fingers snap backwards as five long claws pierce through. 1 turns around and watches this transformation. He does not run.
After her transformation, 2 sits up and howls to the full moon.
2.
(Laughing)
Not really.
A series of high pitched howls are heard echoing 2's cry. From out of the fog, several large hairy wolf-like creatures crawl toward 1. They're mouths salivating and their eyes glowing red.
1 grabs a tight hold of his silver cane as the beasts jump into the air toward him. Instantly, 1 pierces one of the creatures hearts with the silver cane who howls in pain as it transforms into a dying female, dressed in a red dress.
The three other creatures pound towards him. 1 struggles with removing the silver cane from the dead woman's ribs. He is unable to do so in time and instead picks up the cane with the woman still on the end, and smashes the dead woman into one of the creature's face. With a scream the creature's skull bursts open who then begins to transform back into a, now dying, female too.
1 runs towards the bricked wall, followed by the two remaining creatures. With great strength he runs up the side of the wall and flips in the air. 1 flips the silver cane around, causing the dead woman to dislodge, sending her body flying over the building. 1, in mid-air, penetrates the two furry creature's hearts, one either side of the cane, as they leap towards him.
He lands on the floor, under the fading lantern, followed by the silver cane with two dead women, each wearing brightly colored dresses landing behind him.
2, watching from the rooftops, is gob smacked.
2.
You're quite good.
1.
Forget it!
2 notices 1's lame leg. It is covered in black fur.
2.
(Pointing at 1's leg)
What?
1 quickly covers his leg up with his cape.
1.
Go!
2.
I will.
2 sprints of into the fog. 1, grabbing his cane, looks around at the dead prostitutes bodies. The noise of police whistles is heard coming towards him.
Repositioning his top hat, he limps away from the dead women as several police officers run up the alleyway.
Cheers!!!!
Total Comments 5
Comments
-
Excellent
This is just the sort of thing we want to encourage on these blogs, people sharing creativity. It might be reviews and music in my case or putting your scripts up for scrutiny, which I think is a brave move, as something like this is going to quite personal as your showing works in progress I assume.
Well Done!Posted 19th January 2010 at 02:48 PM by Sam@Cult Labs -
Posted 19th January 2010 at 04:23 PM by iluvdvds@Cult Labs -
Posted 20th January 2010 at 08:16 AM by bizarre_eye@Cult Labs -
Posted 20th January 2010 at 10:24 PM by pedromonkey - I read the Alien Rape one in the end BE! Great first impression :P
It's about 3, 4 pages long mate. We just had to create a scene out of a set dialogue (not changing the words, order or anything like that). It was quite funny though as almost everyone did their one about these two people talking.
I got some looks!Posted 21st January 2010 at 07:18 PM by iluvdvds@Cult Labs
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