6th March 2016, 06:43 PM
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| Cult Addict | | Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Barrow-in-furness | |
London has fallen.
It is said that Gerard 'stabbing hobo' Butler is so fond of stabbings he refuses to star in any film where he doesn't stab anyone. Apparently on the rare project he doesn't stab someone on screen its either as payback for covering up one of his non sanctioned stabbings, or he's being paid with daggers used in famous murders. He learned his mysterious arts working for a carny after being found on the mean streets of Glasgow as a child eating a wolf.
Fans of stabbing can rest easy then as, in spite of a shaky start where shanks mcbutler must confront human feelings and character development, the wussy shit is soon sidelined when a villain escaped from a Marvel superhero film and his army of magic re-spawning psychic commandos who are also masters of disguise devastate London in a seemingly perfect and devastating attack that would seem frighteningly realistic to anyone living up Tom Clancy's arsehole. It seems hundreds upon hundreds of terrorists have managed to infiltrate London's police force and army, and Royal guard and... well it gets to the point where Lord stabbington is leading President Dudebro two-face to safety you expect the lampposts to reveal themselves as well disguised Pakistani t-1000's. To a point it does look like 'mcstab' might actually stick to shooting people, but then the film gets to the point where they filmed too much for their pet sociopath to walk off so out comes the knife and stabbings all round.
The writer of this film was at least pleased that his rejected script for the last Modern Warfare videogame was used as it seems to have been slightly re-jigged to suit the film, even better the film actually f****g turns into modern warfare in an actually quite well done sequence that seems better than the shitty cinematography and bad special effects suggest the people involved are capable of. Overall its a terrible film that is also hysterically funny and entertaining in a way that appeals to the reptile part of the brain. I only went because G-Stab appeared on the screen before deadpool and told me to book my tickets and that mans cold dead eyes frighten me. The last guy who refused ended up stabbed, bummed then stabbed again.
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