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Hatchet for the Honeymoon(1970) A chap called john harrington(Stephen Forsyth) runs a model agency specialising in bridal outfits. and is completely insane due to a childhood trauma due to his mother. and now has become a serial killer who chops up young brides with a meat clever just before their weddings. this is another giallo type film from the legendary mario bava, even if it is a giallo in the very loosest of terms, especially as there is no hidden killer in this one. It features the director's usual great use of colour, with top notch sets and lighting, and is pretty entertaining indeed despite the restraint in the violence. and even manages to throw a bit of a supernatural element as well. Definately well worth a watch and essential for any fan of Bava. And with the added bonus too of the beautiful Dagmar Lassander playing a sexy young model. 78 out of 100.
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The Horror Network Vol. 1 (2015) Five none linked tales of horror which seem to have been compiled simply because they were available and cheap indie shorts. Three of the five are more or less worthless, but one, Merry Little Christmas is excellent. I'm not convinced i understood exactly what was going on in this Spanish made production but it seemed to be a grim tale of marital abuse straight from the depths of hell, combining recently deceased necrophilia, strong gore and a demon entity straight out of a Barker esq nightmare. The final short is a black and white silent piece about a man who invites a young man into his home, murders him, rapes his corpse, removes the head, uses it to give himself head in the bath, buries the remains under his house then goes to work as the local vicar...as you do. Amicus this ain't. |
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Just Before Dawn Great slasher in the mould of Texas Chainsaw, bunch of kids get chased around by inbred hicks in the woods, a few nice kills, VERY independant film, for the look think Basket Case or Evil Dead. Makes me want to watch Lieberman's Squirm again! Watching the "extended cut" from 88, looks nice & grimey, bits overexposed, whole sections with a hair in the film! A proper vhs experience! All these films trying to ape the "grindhouse look", check it out! 8/10 Extras: 10/10 (shedloads!) |
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Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1989) A wonderfully absurd spoof on Heart of Darkness / Apocalypse Now that's a delight from beginning to end. The plot is nuts, as an example i'll just put it out there that i didn't realise there was an Avocado jungle just outside San Bernadino , California, that was home to a tribe of Piranha women who sacrifice and eat men. Yet it's all done so well, the three main actors - Shannon Tweed, Bill Maher and Karen Mistal - have a ball as does Adrienne Barbeau (in the Brando role) as Dr. Kurtz, who went out in to the Avocado Jungle and was never seen again. The film references pop culture galore, from Indiana Jones and Star Wars to Disneyland and even Kurosawa, as the film keeps the blend of tongue in cheek humour and clever satire to the fore throughout and unlike the majority of films of this ilk, never loses the plot or substitutes action for layered humour unlike for example the Police Academy films which can't seem to maintain the satire and laughs when the action packed finales kick in. |
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I really like Cannibal Women (or Piranha Women as it was released in the UK) because it's a lot of fun and a smarter satire than you'd expect from a film with such an absurd title. It's funny to think it's written and directed by the same guy who wrote Pretty Woman and Under Siege (and its sequel) because the content is so massively different and demonstrates J. F. Lawton's range and talent. He also wrote the screenplay for DOA: Dead or Alive, but make of that what you will! As some of it seems to be partly based on the Jonestown massacre, when you've seen it a couple of times, the final act of Eaten Alive! will never be the same again – it's almost shot for shot parody of that ritual suicide.
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To All A Goodnight(1980) A young girl(or should i say a dummy) falls to her death from a balcony after a prank by her sorority sisters. and moving on a year later, a bunch of girls at the school and their boyfriends start getting murdered by an insane maniac dressed as Santa during the Christmas holidays. Directed by David hess from last House on The Left. this is an okay effort in the Black christmas type of style, even if it does lack a bit in the suspense and atmosphere. Acting is pretty average as well by this cast of unknowns, but actress Jennifer Runyon is pretty cute as the nice final girl. and with some decent kills as well, including death by axe, crossbow, and propeller. and a great scene where the maniac is dressed in a suit of amour. Overall i enjoyed it. and sticks to the old slasher formula pretty well with all the usual slutty girls getting killed off. just a shame that the film didnt make a bit more of the christmas atmosphere. 70 out of 100.
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Marathon Man 1976. A young student get caught in a international conspiracy involving rogue agents, diamonds and a nazi war criminal. This was a fast paced suspense movie from start to finish that was rather confusing, Dustin Hoffman plays the main role Thomas "babe" Levy who's brother Henry "Doc" levy played by Roy Scheider hasn't been honest about what he does and who he works for. Laurence Olivier plays Dr Christian Szell, who knows how to torture people and utter three simple words. As the movie goes on about who to trust and who not to, it does have a good ending that's like yeah you tortured me i will torture you with what you want, it can have its suspenseful moments, think it has to be watched without any interuptions to enjoy it more.
__________________ " I have seen trees that look like tortured souls" |
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