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  #671  
Old 29th July 2018, 12:12 PM
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this one always makes me laugh from High plains drifter

The Stranger: I'd love to oblige you. But a man's got to get his rest sometime.

Sarah Belding: Oblige me?

The Stranger: But I tell you what, if you'd come back in about half hour, I'll see what I can do, all right?
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  #672  
Old 29th July 2018, 08:36 PM
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Default Wolf Creek 2 (2013)

And the Inbetweeners thought they had it bad in OZ.....

wc2.jpg

Mick Taylor: Welcome to Australia, cocksucker!!!!

Mick Taylor: [as Kangaroos run across the road and get hit by Mick's truck] Oh, shit! Flying kangaroos!

Mick Taylor: [Mick chuckles] Sorry, Skippy!!!

Paul Hammersmith: So it's sort of like 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire'?

Mick Taylor:
Yeah! Except you don't get to phone a friend if you get one wrong because you'll be too busy screaming in f***ing agony!
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  #673  
Old 29th July 2018, 09:18 PM
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DAY OF THE DEAD (1985)

John: You want to put some kind of explanation down here before you leave? Here's one as good as any you're likely to find. We are being punished by the creator. He visited a curse on us. So we might get a look at... what hell was like. Maybe he didn't want to see us blow ourselves up and put a big hole in the sky. Maybe he just wanted to show us he was still the boss man. Maybe he figured we was getting too big for our britches, trying to figure his shit out.
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  #674  
Old 30th July 2018, 11:32 AM
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Very funny from Mighty aphrodite.

Linda Ash: But seriously, you wanna know why I liked you right from the start?

Lenny Weinrib: Why?

Linda Ash: 'Cause I'm always attracted to losers.

Lenny Weinrib: Losers. You think I'm a loser?

Linda Ash: Yeah, you've got no confidence, it's sweet, I like that in a man. I can't stand those johns who come in and throw down a couple of hundred and whip out a big dick and wave it all over the joint.

Lenny Weinrib: I couldn't do that, even if I wanted to...
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  #675  
Old 3rd August 2018, 11:00 PM
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Default tv quotes

Veep


Jonah: Uh, guys, a man is dead. When a sexual harasser dies, we sign his wife's card. Okay? That's how Washington works.


cq5dam.web.1200.675.jpeg
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  #676  
Old 4th August 2018, 12:35 PM
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Carry on Camping.

They arrive at the campsite with a sign saying ' asses must be shown'.
Taken aback they ask 'Where is the manager?'
Man replied 'he's gone for a P'.


Charlie Muggins: Hello. What's a nice girl like you doing with an old cow?

Girl with cow: I'm taking her to the bull.

Charlie Muggins: Well couldn't your father do that?

Girl with cow: No it must the the bull.
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  #677  
Old 4th August 2018, 12:38 PM
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  #678  
Old 4th August 2018, 01:07 PM
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Default In the Loop (2009)

Malcolm Tucker: Don't get sarcastic with me, son. We burned this tight-arsed city to the ground in 1814. And I'm all for doing it again, starting with you, you frat ****. You get sarcastic with me again and I will stuff so much cotton wool down your ****ing throat it'll come out your arse like the tail on a Playboy bunny. I was led to believe I was attending the war committee.

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  #679  
Old 4th August 2018, 01:10 PM
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DRACULA'S DAUGHTER (1936)

Countess Zaleska:

"Unto Adoni and Aseroth, into the keeping of the lords of the flame and lower pits, I consign this body to be evermore consumed in this purging fire. Let all baleful spirits that threaten the souls of men be banished by the sprinkling of this salt. Be thou exorcised, O Dracula, and thy body long undead, find destruction throughout eternity in the name of thy dark, unholy master. In the name of the all holiest, and through this cross, be the evil spirit cast out until the end of time".


dracdaught0.jpg
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  #680  
Old 4th August 2018, 01:33 PM
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classic from Woody allens Bananas

Fielding Mellish: I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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