October Horror Movie Marathon

[platostotal]

Next up in ABUKtober, again one I haven't caught up with in awhile...

(I remember buying this and Living Dead at Manchester Morgue in a ABUK BOGOF in HMV in 2004 for £20)

[bizarre_eye@Cult Labs]

The Visit (2015)



What the absolute **** was this shit?!

As soon as this started (I knew pretty much nothing about this one going in except Shyamalan directed it, so was anticipating the inevitable twist), I was worried I'd put in the wrong disc in error. I assumed I'd been given two annoying kids' shot on camcorder amateur, meandering holiday video instead, but no, I was unfortunately not mistaken.

I almost turned it off when the annoying boy-kid started rapping but insanity prevailed. Annoying girl-kid also came across as a prissy, know-it-all little shit, so already I was hoping someone would die. And quickly. When they arrive at the grandparents' house none of this meandering twattiness lets up and instead we are introduced to two plainly overly bizarre caricatures - just so it hits home (like a sledgehammer) that this couple aren't quite 'right'. You're also treated to some granny-ass too. This is pretty much it, and you endure the camcorder capers in the build-up to the 'dramatic' ending that a blind, lobotomized goldfish could see coming a mile off and which is anti-climactic uninspiring nonsense - or perhaps I'd just given up caring / hoping characters would die by then.

When this finally ended, I was physically angry at myself for actually having watched this dreck... and I'm the first to admit that I watch a lot of dreck, and this very very very rarely happens to me where watcher's remorse is invoked and I feel the need to give my brain an enema to expel the very memory of this turgid garbage from my very being. The turd icing on this dense shit filled cake is the end-credit sequence of the annoying boy-kid rapping again - a final '**** you' from master film-troll Shyamalan.

I would say 'kill it with fire' but I wouldn't waste the matches.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by trebor8273

You could of found a better film to compare it to than the most boring and overrated film of all time, hell give me sinister with its faults any day of the week over Kane

If i'm honest i think i'd turn the tv off and read a book instead.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Thanks for the warning again, B_E. I recall reading about the rapping wanker on here when it came out.

I don't think M Night Charlatan has made a decent film since The Sixth Sense and even then that was a one watch one trick pony.

i've said this before on the forum, i bought the region 1 dvd as soon as it came out during the birth of dvd and it's still sat on the shelf sealed.

[bizarre_eye@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Thanks for the warning again, B_E. I recall reading about the rapping wanker on here when it came out.

I don't think M Night Charlatan has made a decent film since The Sixth Sense and even then that was a one watch one trick pony.

i've said this before on the forum, i bought the region 1 dvd as soon as it came out during the birth of dvd and it's still sat on the shelf sealed.

The Sixth Sense (and pretty much all of his films in fact) I find to be 'one watch wonders'. I do quite enjoy The Village though.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by bizarre_eye@Cult Labs

I do quite enjoy The Village though.

Reminds you of home does it?

[bizarre_eye@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Reminds you of home does it?

Quite the opposite in fact!

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by bizarre_eye@Cult Labs

Quite the opposite in fact!

Oh, work!

[bizarre_eye@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Oh, work!

If only!

[J Harker]

Originally Posted by bizarre_eye@Cult Labs

The Visit (2015)



What the absolute **** was this shit?!

As soon as this started (I knew pretty much nothing about this one going in except Shyamalan directed it, so was anticipating the inevitable twist), I was worried I'd put in the wrong disc in error. I assumed I'd been given two annoying kids' shot on camcorder amateur, meandering holiday video instead, but no, I was unfortunately not mistaken.

I almost turned it off when the annoying boy-kid started rapping but insanity prevailed. Annoying girl-kid also came across as a prissy, know-it-all little shit, so already I was hoping someone would die. And quickly. When they arrive at the grandparents' house none of this meandering twattiness lets up and instead we are introduced to two plainly overly bizarre caricatures - just so it hits home (like a sledgehammer) that this couple aren't quite 'right'. You're also treated to some granny-ass too. This is pretty much it, and you endure the camcorder capers in the build-up to the 'dramatic' ending that a blind, lobotomized goldfish could see coming a mile off and which is anti-climactic uninspiring nonsense - or perhaps I'd just given up caring / hoping characters would die by then.

When this finally ended, I was physically angry at myself for actually having watched this dreck... and I'm the first to admit that I watch a lot of dreck, and this very very very rarely happens to me where watcher's remorse is invoked and I feel the need to give my brain an enema to expel the very memory of this turgid garbage from my very being. The turd icing on this dense shit filled cake is the end-credit sequence of the annoying boy-kid rapping again - a final '**** you' from master film-troll Shyamalan.

I would say 'kill it with fire' but I wouldn't waste the matches.

Little rapping bastard!!! Best bit of the whole film was when Grandpa wraps a shitefilled adult diaper around the little bastards chops. And no that's not a spoiler. Can't spoil this film anymore than you could polish a damn turd.