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  #21  
Old 4th February 2013, 11:03 AM
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If your in a Rob Zombi remake, your career is ruined.
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  #22  
Old 4th February 2013, 11:44 AM
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Take care of your wounds! If a Final Girl sticks a machete in your head, don't leave it untreated as it could go septic. Put some Germolene on it and apply a bandage. An untreated machete wound to the head could lead to blood loss and in extreme cases death!

A good piece of first aid equipment to take with you is glue so you can glue wounds shut or if you are brave a staple gun.
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  #23  
Old 4th February 2013, 11:48 AM
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Take a good supply of food with you. If you find yourself hiding out in the woods or up in the hills it might be a long time before you can pop to the shop. It could be sometime before your victim crosses your path so think before you hide out.

If you choose to eat your victims, remember to bring proper seasoning to spruce up your meal! Nothing is worse than unseasoned meat.
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  #24  
Old 4th February 2013, 12:37 PM
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I have only read the instructions to win, so excuse me, if I repeat one already posted, I did not read any posts, just to be as open minded as possible, w/o requiring an axe or chainsaw

Here is my list of advice:

- make yourself comfortable upstairs and just wait for the cue phrases like "I'll check upstairs" or "I'll be right back"

- make sure to carry a few broken (read: no longer functioning, otherwise you may cut your fingers and leave genetic evidence) bulbs and exchange them in a cellar you are hiding in, waiting for victims

- do not polish your knives, this may look beautiful in movies but carries a few risks in real life: You may give away your presence by reflections of light, or the victim may see your face - which should be no problem, if your execution is proper...

- Do NOT whistle a theme tune!

- A Darth Vader mask with breathing sound and famous quotes, may be an original idea, but hard to use for hiding places - definitely a fun run though if you plan to kill your offspring, just press the button as you raise your weapon and start hacking while the sound clip "I am your father!" plays. In the very unwelcome case of being caught, please use the other button that starts the "NOOOOOOO!"

BTW: Kyle's basement already has broken bulbs


----

so far so good (I hope)... Have fun reading and keep up the good work Kyle!
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  #25  
Old 4th February 2013, 12:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darthelvis View Post
Always remember to take care of your tools ...

Another Sleepaway Camp reference? Oh wait, you said "tools" plural, I get it, sorry
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  #26  
Old 5th February 2013, 09:13 PM
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If you're in a slump and struggling for a good kill remember that not all teenage girls are as dumb as they look and typically the black guy will try to fight you and die doing so.
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  #27  
Old 5th February 2013, 09:16 PM
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If you're feeling lazy after all the walking you did the night before (chasing after those pesky sex crazed teens gets tiring!) just string some beers to a tree branch and put up a sign that says "free beer from the beer tree" and hide in it ala Madman Marz. They come to you!
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  #28  
Old 6th February 2013, 02:41 PM
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Try changing your costume once in a while. After 20 films they're expecting you to jump out wearing a hockey mask. Variety is the spice of life, or, in this case, death.
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  #29  
Old 6th February 2013, 03:03 PM
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At this point they aren't expecting you to have sex, have sex with the hot girl and THEN kill her.
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  #30  
Old 6th February 2013, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sethflc View Post
At this point they aren't expecting you to have sex, have sex with the hot girl and THEN kill her.
MODS - objection

have sex with the hot girl (OR GUY) and then kill her (OR HIM)

This is the 21st century, for goddess sake, and the blinkered (and obviously homophobic) post from Mr. flc is unacceptable

*Note - this post is tongue-in-cheek! I mean no offense to the original poster!
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