Major Announcement: Shameless Backs Shit-Ray

Almar@Cult Labs · #1 5th January 2008, 05:48 PM

Today 5th January 2008 Shameless Screen Entertainment announced that they would from now on back the Shit-Ray format for future releases. "We believe that consumers prefer the Shit-Ray (TM) format and from now on will release our films in a format that allows people to buy their entire collection again but without extra features as we'd then like to get them to buy their collection all over again once we've got some stumbling idiot to record a piss-poor commentary and make some back-slapping featurettes."

Shit-Ray discs are playable in your toilet by flushing the bowl and watching them spin. "We're not abandoning choice though - consumers can still directly flush their money down the toilet."

Shit-Ray is a trademark of 'We Don't Have Enough of Your Money Already Corp' and its subsiduary company 'We Know Best How To Run Your Film Collection.' The backing of the Shit-Ray format does not exclude Shameless Screen Entertainment from switching sides and making you buy your whole collection all over again.

Philleh · #2 5th January 2008, 05:50 PM

Ha! I knew buying that shit-ray player was going to pay off!

vincenzo · #3 5th January 2008, 06:10 PM

Shit-Ray? Sounds like a load of total crap to me.

Stefan@Cult Labs · #4 5th January 2008, 06:31 PM

Does this mean we're not releasing a Betamax box set?

Almar@Cult Labs · #5 5th January 2008, 06:46 PM

If it were up to me we'd still be watching Betamax!

vincenzo · #6 5th January 2008, 06:55 PM

Same here. The quality was so much superior to VHS.

However I also have a stylophone, a Rubik cube, and a vast collection of vinyl records (including albums by Andy Williams and Strawberry Alarm Clock), so nostalgia-wise my credibility may be a trifle bizarre.

Anyone remember V2000?

Almar@Cult Labs · #7 5th January 2008, 07:03 PM

Ah the double-sided V2000. It even had preceding formats called something like SVC or something like that. Back then collecting cost a bomb!

bedorca · #8 6th January 2008, 08:31 AM

My Shit-Ray player has a credit card slot in the side and a keypad to put my PIN into

Almar@Cult Labs · #9 6th January 2008, 12:11 PM

Yeah do remember that once you've fed all your cards, pin numbers, cash and valuables into the Shit-Ray (TM) player you need to send it back to the manufacturer.

At your own expense.

Or you'll be killed and turned into a Shit-Ray (TM) disc. We can't though guarantee that your remains will work as a Shit-Ray disc but you will be loaded up with episodes of the coma-inducing 80s US TV series War of the Worlds so it's unlikely that you'll be put to the test.

Almar@Cult Labs · #10 7th January 2008, 04:14 PM

I knew this would happen! I was tempted to put Prisoner: Cell Block H but I rather enjoyed that. WOTW had promise and it was surprisingly gory but then they seemed to lose their bottle as it went on. I did watch it but then that was in the days of four channels and sod all else on at that time of night - I'm not sure I'd have enjoyed it so much in this day and age. Still it was a rare example of the time of new fantasy TV on the UK box... but they did keep cutting away just as scenes were about to get really gory - that used to do my nut in and send me back to my rather worn Betamax tape of Tenebrae.