Chuck Norris Facts

[RedEyeTheCylon]

Chuck Norris tells signs what to do.

[Baseball Fury]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there's no signs of life.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he does Earth-downs.

[Daemonia]

Originally Posted by iluvdvds@Cult Labs

Wanna see something cool? Type in

where is chuck norris

into Google and press I'm Feeling Lucky...

Hahahaha! That's brilliant.

'Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

Run, before he finds you.
Try a different person.
Try someone less dangerous.'

[Daemonia]

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest with a photograph.

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom

A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

[ReturnToZero]

Fact: im drunk and Chruck norris is my bitch!

[Daemonia]

Originally Posted by ReturnToZero

Fact: im drunk and Chruck norris is my bitch!

You shouldn't have said that. Chuck's gonna get you.

[Slippery Jack]

Chuck's gonna get me too, I've never seen a single one of his films . Just added Silent Rage to my rental list though . . .

[Daemonia]

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack... even a heart isnt foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.

Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Scholars believe that the only thing capable of making Chuck Norris cry is a picture of himself crying. Such a picture does not exist.

Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

[ReturnToZero]

Fact:



...Chuck Norris is still a bigger pussy than this guy.

[the blob]

Originally Posted by Daemonia

Hahahaha! That's brilliant.

'Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

Run, before he finds you.
Try a different person.
Try someone less dangerous.'

And if you go to the top and click More the drop down just says

There is nothing beyond the scope of Chuck Norris