What Films Have You Seen Recently?

[pedromonkey]

there's nothing wrong with Police Academy, im looking forward to the new one with the return of the Gutte. Police Academy 4: citizens on Patrol is the best.

[42ndStreetFreak]

"Blind Woman's Curse" -

Meh...Not having a good time with many first time viewing films at the moment.

We start off in a very groovy fashion with a rain soaked Samurai sword fight that drips cool.
But a warning sign of the slump to come was shown here also, when a vital plot point of a woman being blinded by a sword stroke from Meiko Kaji is played out by the sword swipe very obviously not being anywhere near her at all!

From here on we enter a world of chaotic plotting, muddled all to hell ideas, dubious translations and redundant characters.
By the opening we are expecting Meiko Kaji ("Lady Snowblood") to be a tough woman with an agenda.
Instead the rest of the film, right up until the last 10 minutes, has her do absolutely nothing at all except cry a lot!

Bad comic relief? Oh yes. How about a guy in a bowler hat and a smelly red nappy? You got it.

What else stinks here?
Well the big Blind Woman's revenge sub-plot plays out with her actually doing nothing at all (despite her joining up with a group of bad guys) until the very end...and then she simply does nothing all over again!
The only person who does anything is her grotesque hunchback assistant...who then gets told off by her for doing something!

The plot is a jumbled mess of schemes, double-crosses and betrayals that are played as secrets one minute and then played out openly the next.
Despite a stew of sub-plots (clan rivalry, cat curses, blind woman revenge, hunchback murders, mysterious stranger pop ups) and the various groups of bad guys to choose from (who simply end up tripping over each other) nothing much happens in the film at all. Ever.
It's purely down to the horror tinges (an utterly deranged traveling 'spook show' carnival) and that loony hunchback that anything remotely interesting happens in the movie at all.

This real mess of a mass of nothing has the odd great moment of bloody violence (total screen time 5 minutes max) a smattering of sleaze and nudity (one hellish dope/prostitution den scene) and some theatrical horror visuals...but this is a case of a needle in a tedious haystack.

And worse of all is the end.
After a huge, muddled, sludge slow trek we have a wonderful few seconds of sword gore before we finally get to the big revenge pay-off as the blind woman actually does something for once as she squares off against Meiko Kaji (who has herself has also finally done something in the film).

But what happens now?
Once again nothing! And yes I am going to reveal the end of the film to save you my pain.
In the end...blind woman decides she can't take revenge after all against Meiko Kaji because Kaji has a good heart!!
She promptly walks off and leaves Kaji and the audience staring off into space in utter confusion!

Before she walks off blind woman just so happens to sum up my thoughts.
"Seems as though I have wasted my life on this meaningless goal"
Change "goal " for "movie" and you have my thoughts exactly!

[nekromantik]

Originally Posted by stevoj

The Police Academy's of the horror genre?

maybe :P

[iluvdvds@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by unclefred

I saw Shutter Island. I waited a week so the kid crowd would thin out, went late at night with only a dozen people there, it was great.

I saw that tonight, Unclefred! It certainly was great! I wasn't too sure with it to start with, but as soon as it got going it was slapping the audience round the face with twists non-stop! Brilliant film! Highly highly recommended.

[iluvdvds@Cult Labs]

Watched Beast of the Yellow Night earlier today. Thought it was Ok. Got a bit boring throughout though, but there were a few really nice moments.

[The Reaper Man@Cult Labs]

I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula on BR tonight,it looked and sounded absolutely stupendous in Hi Def!
Although Coppola's take on Vlad came in for some critical bashing,I reckon it's a cracking take on the legend.
Anthony Hopkins made a cracking Van Helsing-obviously went to the Peter Cushing school of vampire hunters.
The only weak performances were Keanu the plank and Winona the shoplifter!

[BioZombie]

I saw Cop Out the other day, I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan but found I didn't really laugh that much. I think I need to see it again because for most of the film I was pissed off cause of the people in front with their mobile phones! It seemed to a quite generic buddy cop film.

[Gojirosan]

Originally Posted by stevoj

And coming soon from the makers of Shark Vs Octpuss is Mega Piranha,starring the other pop princess of the eighties,Tiffany. (yum yum)

WHAT?! REALLY?!?!?!

I must see that! I had/have the biggest crush on Tiffany! And am a lover of all things piranha!

This could be the greatest film ever!

[Stephen@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by pedromonkey

there's nothing wrong with Police Academy, im looking forward to the new one with the return of the Gutte. Police Academy 4: citizens on Patrol is the best.

I love PA really Be good to see a new one with the original cast.They went down hill after part 4 though.

Originally Posted by Gojirosan

WHAT?! REALLY?!?!?!

I must see that! I had/have the biggest crush on Tiffany! And am a lover of all things piranha!

This could be the greatest film ever!

And here's the poster for MegaPiranha.Apparently the Piranha's in the film are only 3ft long!

[Philleh]

Haaaaaaaaaaahahaaahaha, I love that poster!!