Weekly Comp - Martin - 06/06/2010

[The Reaper Man@Cult Labs]

Cheesey Hawkes.......

AL-MAR THE ONE AND ONLY,YOU CAN'T TAKE CUTS AWAY FROM ME!

[oaxaca]

Arnie Schwarzenegger comes on stage in full 'Running Man' garish yellow jump-suit attire, grabs Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan and sticks them in the chute to the game zone. The prime time audience then gets to watch the 'celebrity' runners get hunted down by all the stalkers at once (with the exception of 'Captain Freedom Jesse Venture who's way past it!) & mercilessly mutilated to the unbridled glee of audiences worldwide. Arnie wins and says "I'll be back... next year"!

[docvoltage]

Dr. Praetorius pushes a small table on wheels onto the stage. He lifts the sheet that covers it and, voila, homunculi in glass bottles, all dressed up as the cast of The Tudors.

They gambol about a bit to deafening silence from the audience. One of the judges finally asks Praetorius what they call themselves. In his feyest voice he purrs, "The Aristocrats".

[Gigantor]

Angela(From SLEEPAWAY CAMP) does very erotic dance which really gets the crowd up however the "tailend"of the dance leaves the crowd shocked and dumbfounded

[Gigantor]

Harry Warden more known for tearing out peoples hearts every Valentines Day is soon to be known for winning some through his Interpretive Dance routine.I guess being stuck in a mineshaft only to come on Valentines Day really gives you some free time.

[Gigantor]

Matt Cordell(Maniac Cop) invirtes audience members up on stage and offers them a hands experience/reenactments of the dangers and pitfalls of prison life.Going over such topics of dropping the soap,staring and why its best to eat your food in your cell.

[Nosferatu@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by Gigantor

Angela(From SLEEPAWAY CAMP) does very erotic dance which really gets the crowd up however the "tailend"of the dance leaves the crowd shocked and dumbfounded

Could this be done as a double act with Jody from The Crying Game?

I see Bela Lugosi walking through a giant spider's web onto the stage, without disturbing a single strand and takes a bow. He then morphes into a wolf before the audience's eyes and then, just as they thought they had seen everything, the wolf leaps from the stage, tearing Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan limper from limb and procreating with Amanda Holden!

In this supernatural tripleheader, Sadako, a shy Japanese teenager, wheels a television set on to the middle of the stage and walks back off. To the audience's shock and amazement, she then reappears through the middle of the TV screen, crawling out of the TV set and along this stage right up to the judges' desk, causing them are also have heart attacks.

Next up is Reagan MacNeill, aged 12, originally from Los Angeles. Appearing on stage tied to a bed. She shocks and amazes with her incredible vocal skills, before levitating and then vomiting bright green bile all over Simon Cowell. The audience erupts in applause.

Us moderators aren't allowed to enter, but I just thought I'd share my thoughts with y'all and hope you like them.

[Derek Smalls]

Exorcize

A synchronized dance troupe consisting of the main characters from The Exorcist.

Regan and Chris Macneil along with Father Karras and Father Merrin.

They perform their dance (in perfect synchronicity) to the films classic theme tune, Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield.

[BioZombie]

Rather than having the performer as someone or something from the world of horror I thought it would be good fun to have an audience full of flesh eating zombies. They could be shipped to the studio in drums like in Return of the Living Dead and kept back by a big razor wire fence. Any truly horrendous acts could be thrown to the crowd for the living dead to enjoy (catapulting them over the fence would be my preferred option), and if we're luck some of the zombies will get loose and attack the judges.

The only problem is that the most constructive comment a zombified Simon Cowell could make about the acts would be, "Brains!!!!!!"

Would that actually be a problem I wonder?

[trouserpress]

A Julie Andrews wannabe with several small children in traditional garb sing a medley from The Sound of Music. Halfway through Edelweiss the dead nazis from The Frozen Dead storn the stage to do what they should have finished fifty years ago.