Weekly Comp - Martin - 06/06/2010

[Gigantor]

The naked old lady from THE SHINING comes on stage and does her impersonation of Lady Gaga

[Gigantor]

GRIZZLY is entered in the competition but after eating Spoondini it is disqualified

[BioZombie]

I think that Leatherface might do well with some chainsaw juggling.

[Gigantor]

PINHEAD will take out the pins in his head and peform some Extreme Macrame

[pedromonkey]

Zombies take over the theater as Cowell, Holden and Piers, just sit there, Limbs and inards are thrown about the place as he living dead proceed to eat their way to the stage. Simon stands up and say that the act is old hat and is something that has been copied for decades and that they should have come up with something more original. One Zombie bites simon on the arm turning him into one, Piers screams like a little girl and runs towards ant and Dec who are fiercely trying to hold off a zombie Stephen Mulhern, Piers again screams like a little girl and is attacked by zombie Mulhern as Ant and Dec are defeated in the struggle. Amanda Just sits there as she is unable to move due to her being MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF PLASTIC, luckily the zombie bites can't penetrate her plastic body so they move on. suddenly a helicopter drops through the ceiling for absolutely no reason what so ever and Jack Brooks monster Slayer climbs out, he's ready to do battle but with only a pipe and a monkey wrench seems a little under armed so he's attacked by the living dead. Through the hole in the ceiling made by the pointless Helicopter, Mila Jovovich dressed as Alice from Resident Evil, drops down, starts to take out the zombie horde 1 by 1 then 2 by 2, but accidentally trips and her face gets eaten by a zombie.
The loud sound of a bomber jet can be heard out side and a nuke drops through the ceiling. It explodes nuking london and destroying all the zombies.
Four years later after the fallout has dispersed, The preserved body of Holden still sat in her chair is found by a small boy, he looks at her as if he's remembering something. he looks at her face which still has the same expression as four years previously, suddenly the young child is startled and runs off screaming, out of the shadows a figure runs towards Holden, It's norman bates, all be-it an mutated version, and guess what, that's right he stabs her in ****ing, stupid, dumb ****ing Face....

The End

[Gigantor]

Unknown to audience members pieces of gold stolen from the Leprechuan are placed under their seats and then later on The Leprechaun will quickly find out whos got his gold and kill those who have it.

[Nosferatu@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by pedromonkey

Zombies take over the theater as Cowell, Holden and Piers, just sit there, Limbs and inards are thrown about the place as he living dead proceed to eat their way to the stage. Simon stands up and say that the act is old hat and is something that has been copied for decades and that they should have come up with something more original. One Zombie bites simon on the arm turning him into one, Piers screams like a little girl and runs towards ant and Dec who are fiercely trying to hold off a zombie Stephen Mulhern, Piers again screams like a little girl and is attacked by zombie Mulhern as Ant and Dec are defeated in the struggle. Amanda Just sits there as she is unable to move due to her being MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF PLASTIC, luckily the zombie bites can't penetrate her plastic body so they move on. suddenly a helicopter drops through the ceiling for absolutely no reason what so ever and Jack Brooks monster Slayer climbs out, he's ready to do battle but with only a pipe and a monkey wrench seems a little under armed so he's attacked by the living dead. Through the hole in the ceiling made by the pointless Helicopter, Mila Jovovich dressed as Alice from Resident Evil, drops down, starts to take out the zombie horde 1 by 1 then 2 by 2, but accidentally trips and her face gets eaten by a zombie.
The loud sound of a bomber jet can be heard out side and a nuke drops through the ceiling. It explodes nuking london and destroying all the zombies.
Four years later after the fallout has dispersed, The preserved body of Holden still sat in her chair is found by a small boy, he looks at her as if he's remembering something. he looks at her face which still has the same expression as four years previously, suddenly the young child is startled and runs off screaming, out of the shadows a figure runs towards Holden, It's norman bates, all be-it an mutated version, and guess what, that's right he stabs her in ****ing, stupid, dumb ****ing Face....

The End

"What do you call this act?" said the talent agent. "The aristocrats," they replied!

[pedromonkey]

Originally Posted by Nosferatu

"What do you call this act?" said the talent agent. "The aristocrats," they replied!

The south Park version of that joke is the most ****ed up, and the funniest, i actually considered finishing it with that line....

[Nosferatu@Cult Labs]

There are a lot of warped jokes in the documentary but the South Park one has to be up there as one of the crudest and most obscene.

[Stephen@Cult Labs]

OMFG! I've never seen that South Park version of the joke before...until right now